the circus is coming to town

In just a few days, Boston will put on its best long pants and play host to the festive foregone conclusion known as the Democratic National Convention. That's the official name. Unofficially, local politicos have taken to using the feel-good term "National Security Event." Yes, it's more than democracy in action. It's an opportunity to be blown up. With confetti! But before you head down to the basement with duct tape and canned peaches, know that Boston is taking its National Security Event seriously. We're closing all roads leading in and out of the city. The delegates will be blindfolded. The mayor's mumbling will scramble all official communication.  And if that wasn't enough to ward off would-be terrorists, Tom Ridge even stopped by to tour the convention hall and bless the harbor. I feel better. What about you? So let's do this thing. Let's nominate John "Turtle Wax now being applied" Kerry, and puckish sidekick, John "can-do attitude set to stun" Edwards, as our designated dynamic duo. The fate of mankind hangs in the balance. Plus, we already paid for the fake straw hats.